Save big at the Ballard Sidewalk Sale

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

According to NWsource.com (hi, guys!), the Ballard Sidewalk Sale is Seattle’s oldest and largest. I can’t speak to its historical significance, but I can tell you that NWsource is bang-on about the ambitions and size of the thing; it is ginormous indeed, and loaded silly with great deals. From Thursday, July 22 through Sunday, July 25, you’ll find all manner of great deals splayed across Market St. and Ballard Ave. — swell girlie stuff from Velouria; striking framed art from Annie’s; cheap CDs and vinyl from Sonic Boom; foofoo gifts from Romanza and much, much more. This sale is just one of the thousand reasons I have sworn a blood oath to Ballard, and I’ll see you out there, pushing and shoving others aside to get to the good stuff.

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Liquid assets: WineGirl makes a killer deal

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

For the first time in months I’m busting this bl-g’s $25 upper limit, but let’s be clear about this: Premier Cellar’s offer of three WineGirl Wines for $75 is both deal and a steal. (And it averages out to $25 a bottle, so my streak remains unbroken.) I’ve been buying up WineGirl’s liquid sky for the past three years, and this offer couldn’t have come at a better time — when I’ve only one bottle of the local winemaker’s delicious Firá Chardonnay remaining. (My girlfriend has a few bottles of the My Derby Wife Merlot in stock, but they’re guarded by howitzers and land mines and razor wire, and I think a lemur with a shiv.) I could drink these wines every day of my natural life. Here’s what the website has to say about them:

The 2008 Firá Chardonnay is a luscious yet friendly wine, with crisp, clean, citrus and honey suckle notes that exemplify the stunning power of the Chardonnay grape as intended by nature. Also included is one bottle of the 2007 My Derby Wife Merlot … This medium-bodied Merlot from the Wahluke Slope possesses full tannin structure and a cherry blossom bouquet that perfectly defines the rough and tumble, yet “punk princess” imagery found among the awesome women who define roller derby today. Finally, enjoy one bottle of the 2007 Kamari Black Label Reserve, a truly stunning masterpiece of what Walla Walla Valley has to offer. This blend of 50% Cabernet Sauvignon, 18% Merlot, 17% Malbec, and 15% Cabernet Franc delivers flavors of dark cacao, black cherry, cassis and vanilla bean.

Seriously, this is some capitol wine. I should probably order some, instead of trying to bribe the lemur.

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Days of Sin; nights, too

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

RJB PHOTO

Well, you can’t do it.You can’t expect to skate through this entire year without knowing what day it is; that’s just plain illogical. Oh sure, you could get the day and date from your desktop, or your iPhone, or from AT&T pitchman Luke Wilson — but none of those things have pictures of demure tattooed ladies or lascivious close-ups of pretty tattooed sheets, as does Sin in Linen’s 2010 Calendar. A lousy $15 will buy you an eyeful of Miss Kitty Baby (pictured), Fuchsia Foxxx, Miss Indigo Blue, The Shanghai Pearl, Rettig to Rumble, Skate Trooper, Morning Gory, Lucky Penny and a bunch of other local burlesque and roller derby beauties, all of whom know precisely what day it is, and also where man’s folly lies. Buy two, buddy!

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Cafe Flora slings a healthy hash

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

Why not begin your day in a way that Rush Limbaugh should probably start think about beginning his — with a healthy, hearty breakfast that contains actual vegetables? The splendid Madison Park vegetarian bistro Cafe Flora is now rockin' a breakfast menu that includes cinnamon-egg battered French Toast served in with a sauce of chai-spiced crème anglaise; a "Winter Root Hash" of pan-fried purple potatoes, yams, parsnips, yellow onions and red bell peppers topped with a horseradish-sour cream sauce; and eggs scrambled with golden chanterelle mushrooms, crimini mushrooms, roasted butternut and delicata squash, fresh sage and Fontina cheese. The plates are in the $9/$10 range, which may sound pricey at first blush, but c'mon: You can go right back to eating the free, leftover Krispy Kremes in the break room tomorrow, and you'll have had the advantage of putting at least one healthy thing in your body this week. Y'know, sometimes I think that Rush Limbaugh just isn't very happy.

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We shop econo

Friday, November 27th, 2009

Stuck at work and unable to shop? Stuck without work and unable to shop? Stuck in underpaying work and able to shop, albeit grudgingly? Any way you slice it, this list of under-$25 gifts, compiled by our own Lorien G. and the author, is for you:

Criterion Collection DVDs — ooh, fancy film! — 50% off

Threadless: individually-designed t-shirts for annoying hipsters like us, only $9 today

Haute Macabre: Pretty clothes for gothy ladies, $25 and under

IndieShopping.com: Artisan-made yaddayadda under $25

MSN Lifestyle: 25 Gifts Under $30. Warning: May include choco-bacon pancakes

The L Magazine: $25-or-less gifts for boozehounds

Crate and Barrel: Believe it or not, they've got stuff under $25

The New York Public Library Shop: Insanely sexy gifts under $25

Tesoros Trading Company: Folk art gifts searchable by price

Amazon.com: Black Friday lightning deals on various stuffs

Archie McPhee: Suggested nifty things, from Yodeling Pickles to Handerpants

Now go forth, my friends, and drive our economy out of the shithouse.

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Mischief. Mayhem. Bliss Soap.

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Forgive the large cut-and-paste — and my breaking of this publication's $25 limit — but Seattle's Bliss Soaps is in a bit of a pickle. Others might have pulled the plug after being scammed like this, but the Bliss folks are cranking up the faucet and pouring on some pretty respectable savings:

BLISS Soaps has unfortunately fallen victim to a
fraudulent business deal. Many local customers may recall a large soap,
lotion, facemask and eye cream order that we were working on as they
came to visit the store. The order was made, delivered and distributed
to the Cruise-line executives ahead of schedule. Emperors Essentials,
the company that commissioned BLISS Soaps to fulfill this contract
fraudulently reversed ALL of the payments that were made to us. After
researching the company, we discovered that the couple who own Emperors
Essentials; Robert Friend, Jr., and Shao Mei Wang, operate 4 charities
in Gig Harbor, Washington. 1) National Association of Disabled Police
Officers. 2) American Veterans Coalition. 3) (Childrens) Cancer
Assistance Network. 4) Disabled Firefighters Foundation. All 4
charities are fictitious and an estimated $5,000,000.00 was raised for
the charities and around 2 cents per dollar was used as assistance. If
you hear of these in the future, DO NOT DONATE.

The devastation to BLISS Soaps came at such a time that we may not recover the funds in time to maintain operations.

In an effort to make this a win-win situation for both of us, we are
offering this 4 day only Internet, call-in, and walk-in special in an
attempt to earn pre holiday revenue.

All orders over $50.00 will be doubled and the next 5 future orders over $50.00 will be given a $15.00 credit.

All orders received in the next 4 days will be filed and a VERY
special future offer will be offered to you in our December E-mail.

ALL orders place in the next 4 days (EVEN orders under $50.00) will be given the Special December offer.

To call in your orders, please call 1-206-322-SOAP, 7 days 4-10
Pacific Time.  Internet orders, please only order ½ of what you would
like as we will simply double the order received.

Thank, you for your past and continued patronage and hope to hear from you soon.

Phil & Chuck
BLISS Soaps

Buy yourself some soap, Space Monkey! Don't let the bastards get the better of this local company. Do I need to tell ya that "half-off" is the very best type of "-off"?

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Threadless.com’s 09/09/09 sale: Fun facts

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

1. Threadless.com is a website that features t-shirts designed by regular folks by you, assuming you're a hipster who can draw.
2. Anyone can submit a design, but the only designs that actually make it to t-shirt form are the ones that win a site user vote.
3. I own one Threadless t-shirt, but I can't tell you which one because they don't sell it anymore. Nearly every t-shirt on Threadless has a limited shelf life.
4. They'll sometimes bring back a t-shirt that's out of print, but a ton of people have to want it. We're talking "American Idol"-sized numbers, not Obama-sized numbers.
5. Wearing a Threadless t-shirt is pretty much the same as admitting you love indie rock and Dave Eggers. It's a uniform.
6. Their designs are printed on American Apparel shirts, so just look at the size of the AA t-shirts you used to wear before Dov Charney finally creeped you out.
7. All the models on Threadless' site are the same sexless hipster man/woman in different wigs.
8. Today, Threadless.com is offering every t-shirt in its inventory for just $9 in honor of 09/09/09, a day with no historical significance. Still, cheap t-shirts ain't nuthin' to sneeze at.
9. They're already out of your size in the first three to five designs you favor. C'est la neuf.

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Stark raving kitten madness

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Hey there: I know this is a different kind of thing for The Spellout, but the Seattle Animal Shelter is holding a special kitten adoption event this Sunday, August 30 and OMG TEH KITTIES. From 10 a.m. to noon, the Shelter is holding an "Adopt-a-thon" that's designed to hook you up with one — or perhaps even two — of these impossibly cute little buggers.

From the Shelter's website:

From Aug. 30 through Sept. 30, if you adopt two cats or kittens, all fees will be waived for the second cat, except for licensing. A two-year cat license in Seattle costs $22. With the special offer, you can adopt two cats or kittens for a maximum of $129.

That's just what my girlfriend and I did several years ago, and we have never regretted it. The hours of comfort and entertainment we've derived from our two fuzzy maniacs can't be calculated in dollars. Frankly speaking, I'd trade ten million free video rentals for one kitten vs. kitten rasslin' match. (I've complained a little at the bills they've accrued when they've taken ill, but sick happens, and the huge bills are more the vet's problem than the cats'.) I know this goes over the $25 limit and it isn't strictly entertainment or shopping, but c'mon. Kitties.

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Hey ladies! Get your fuzzy pink skulls!

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

ARCHIE MCPHEE

Forgive the brusque and boisterous headline, but I can't for another minute deny this news to the swell punk rock girls who read this publication: Archie McPhee now carries flocked, pink skulls at the low price of $16.95. If ever you've craved a goth-y or pirate-y touch in your living space but didn't want the same prosaic white skull owned by every fratboy, med school droput and My Chemical Romance fan, this rosy cranium/mandible set is just the thing to provide your house or apartment with a grinning, evil and softly fuzzy daily reminder that we're all gonna die someday. Plus, the jaw hinges open to hold stuff. Photos of ex-lovers. Fancy French cigarettes. Receipts from the 9LB Hammer, NewEgg and Babeland. Jeepers, girls get all the really nice stuff.

(A disclaimer is in order: I'm part of the editorial brain trust for Monkey Goggles, Archie McPhee's nifty new entertainment, humor and storytelling publication. I feel a little strange for promoting McPhee's goodies even as I edit and write for Monkey Goggles, but c'mon: it's a freaking pink fuzzy skull. I owed it to all the Pink Ladies out there. Besides, it's not as if I'm using one bl-g to promote the other by saying things like, "Hey, you should read my 'Logan's Run' vs. 'The Island' piece," or "Check out that piece on the geekiest spots in Seattle," or even "Read Mark Shaffer's piece on Saturday Night Live's first episode or I'll send someone over to flock your skull for ya." Because doing that would be wrong.)

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